Chapter 3

Now what?

OK, so your new computer is currently sat in its box in your lounge. Now what do you do with it?
Simple right? Plug in the leads and away you go. Well, yes. But there are a few things you should do and be aware of first. 

1. Location: Where will the computer live? And I mean live. You should not assemble and re-assemble a computer every time you want to use it. It can cause bugs and mechanical failure. What you need to do is set aside a space where the computer can be set up and left to sit. I recommend a dedicated desk, although I actually use an oak table. 
2. Power sockets. (sad but true. I once went around a friends house after they got all set up, and when it came to plugging in the nearest socket was other side of the room.) 
3. Windows: Having a window behind you will create loads of glare on the screen and create eye strain. 
4. Phone Socket: Think about how you are going to connect to the router. Yes there is always wireless, and for many things this is fine. But for a desktop that will rarely move a wired connection to the router is always better. 
5. Radiators: Keep the computer away from these. The computer generates a lot of heat as it is, and often works hard to keep cool. Heat is a bad thing for computers. Very bad. Dedicated server farms often have huge and expensive air conditioned rooms for the servers for this purpose.

When setting up the computer, try and keep the tower off the floor. At least by a good 12 inches or more. Dust is another enemy of the computer, and having it sit on the floor is asking for dust, pet hair and dirt to be sucked in. If the computer is to be sat in a corner of a room, try and put the case into the corner. This will help cut down on dust a little and also prevents accidental knocks and bumps.

Make sure that the surface is flat, level and hard. Cases tend to be top heavy. Having it at even a slight list could be enough to cause it to unbalance suddenly.  Soft surfaces like those leather bound desks, or even a table cloth will restrict airflow under the computer. A lot of computers don't have vents on the bottom any more, but better safe than sorry.

Try and keep the top of the monitor at eye level. This will reduce neck and eye strain. And try and give your elbows and arms support by keeping the keyboard as far away from you as possible and allowing you to rest your arms on the desk.

Computers generally come with a lot of cables. (Bertha has 52 individual leads) It will look a mess when its all connected up. Get some cable tidy stuff by all means. It will stop you getting your feet caught in the cable and pulling everything off the desk when you get up. But in some cases, some cables can interfere with others. The main power lead should be kept separate from the LAN lead and the speaker leads.

Other personal recommendations at this point would be to get a powered USB hub. When buying, do not be fooled by one claiming to be USB 1 and another being USB 2. Internally, it does not matter. The speed is handled by the computer, not the hub. Get one, plug it in the back of oyur computer, and have it handy on the desktop. You will use it often in the future. Bertha has a 7 port hub, and all but one socket is full.

• USB note. This doesn't happen much on newer machines with newer windows installed nowadays, but some computers running windows up to XP has this little bug regarding USB and it is worth noting for future reference.
  Say the computer has 4 USB sokets in the back, and you plug in say a webcam in the top right socket and an external hard drive in bottom left. If for some reason you swapped these around there is a bug where they wouldn't work until you put them back. 
• Technical reason. Feel free to skip to next paragraph:
  The reason being is that when an item was plugged in, it would be given a memory address. When you unplug, this address would still be reserved. When you plugged in something else into that socket, Windows would still look for what was there. The way to fix this was to reboot the computer with the new item plugged in. Thankfully Windows resets the memory address when you unplug something now so this is rarely an issue nowadays

OK the computer is all set up, now lets look at the Modem.
The modem is the part of the equipment that converts the phone signal into an Ethernet signal.
Simple eh? Unfortunately, most ISP's use different terms for the modem supplied. You will often hear them refereed to as hub, router or switch as well. Most ISP supplied equipment is basically all three into one. But all three are different. If you have cable of fibre optic then the chances are you have a Modem and a router. But most ADSL broadband users will only have one box.

Technical bit/ Feel free to skip to next paragraph:

• Modem: (modulator-demodulator) Is the device that converts the incoming signal into n Ethernet signal.
• Hub: A device for connecting multiple Ethernet devices together.
• Router: A device that connects networks together:
• Switch: A more intelligent version of the HUB. Usually more server based.
• From the ADSL (phone) line to the computer, they would normally be used in this order:
  Modem/Router/Hub or Switch/computer.

Because a lot of houses have more than one piece of equipment that uses the internet, the ISP's supply a Modem/hub combo. Which is quite handy really. And eventually, you will have more than one device if you don't already do so.
When installing the Modem, it is important to know where to put it. Ideally it should be plugged into the master phone socket. Signal loss is huge along phone extensions. As my master socket is in a stupid place I can't leave the Modem plugged into it, but when I have had it connected to it, I have noticed a significant increase in speed. Unfortunately, my Modem is on the end of a 40 foot extension and as such I only get 9.4Mbit connection. Plugged into master I get 11Mbit.

That is pretty much all I can think of for now, so I will leave it here. Next chapter will be about what you should do when you first turn on your computer.

Oh and Happy Summer Solstice.

The Problem Is In The Bleedin' Chair!

This is my diagnosis for many computers that come my way.
Most problems I find are caused by 2 things.

• Mechanical failiure
• User error. 

I am yet to come across a computer that has a fault or issue outside of these 2 areas of causes.
When I talk to people about how their computer has gone wrong, and how they could of prevented it I often get 'oh, I never knew that'. When in my eyes the basics should come under 'common sense'. The stuff that people should know when owning a computer. You can't take a driving test in the UK now, without knowing how to put oil in, checking water or filling with fuel. So why aren't people told how to keep a computer running smoothly? People get spam emails telling them that they need a bigger penis, or that there are women in town wanting no strings sex, and that their bank account will be stopped if they don't use this online service for only $99 per month. It is surprising the amount of people that don't realise that these things are spam. And these emails are rife. I have a 14 year old hotmail account which still gets around 1,000 spam emails a week. Yet a simple action once a week will banish these forever.
It isn't just the software maintenance, hardware maintenance is overlooked often as well. I was once asked by a friend to investigate why her 6 year old computer was so slow. When I got there and turned it on, I thought a Hercules aircraft was about to take off from the desk. The fans spun so fast I could not hear the telly. Opened it up and 6 years of dust and shit was nearly solid inside. I have seen people clean LCD monitors with scotchbrite, then wonder why the picture is dull.
And my biggest bug bear, the people that get a new router from their isp, and insist on putting the disc in their computer and installing the half a gig or so of useless crap that they do not need. They just don't realise that all they need to do is connect the lead from the router to the computer. (Or connect the wireless).

So this is a start to what I hope will be a long, helpful, well written and hopefully light hearted and humourous blog.

P.S. I have a bit of a pet hate when it comes to computers made by Dell. This is a personal thing, and is not meant to effect the company or your decision to buy one in any way.

P.P.S. I have just noticed that the spell checker is American. As I can't find the English one, and before your criticise my spelling. Balls to you, my spelling is correct.