Chapter 5

Lets get it together. 

The desktop. The single most important part of the computer. Except it isn't. Because you can turn it off and use the start button. So quite a crap intro really. 

Only I rarely use the start button. I rarely use desktop icons either. I have another trick up my sleeve which I shall let you into later, but first.

You see that desktop you have? You should have a few icons dotted around? Well as you install more software, those icons will slowly take up the real estate. What do you have so far? 

• Computer/My Computer: This icon is pretty essential. This is the main navigation button for your computer. If the file is anywhere on your computer it can and will be found here.
• Trashcan/recycle: The 'oh shit' folder. I highly recommend you keep this. If you delete a file, it ends up here. If you find you have deleted it by accident, then you can rummage around and fetch it back out. 
• My Documents: The default folder for anything you save. Good because it keeps it all in one location, bad because it keeps it all in one location. 

These icons are pretty much standard across all computers. Depending on where you got your computer from, you may have some of the following:

• Network/Homegroup:  This is the icon that opens up network connections, and allows you to access files on other computers.
• <Manufactures name> help: Usually, the company that supplies the computer will fill your hard drive with loads of useless crap. This is usually the place they put it. The only useful thing you will ever need in here, if it's in here, is the restore factory settings program. If you have your own windows disc, then this isn't a problem. If the computer came with Windows installed, and they did not give you a full copy of Windows on a disc, then I suggest you buy a copy of Windows. (I will explain more later)
• Some anti virus program: If you did what I said in the previous chapter, then this should be AVG free: If not, then find the program and remove it before installing AVG free. Usually, manufacturers put some overpriced crap, or a crap version of overpriced crap hoping you are stupid enough to pay for the full version of the overpriced crap. For 99% of average home users, you will not benefit from a paid anti virus software. AVG is perfectly capable of preventing 99% of the virus problems you will encounter.
• Printer: If your computer is the only one in the house with a printer attached to it, then you don't need this icon here. If however, you have several computers in the house, all networked, and a couple of printers connected, then it can be handy to have an icon for each printer so you can drag and drop the file to be printed onto the chosen printer. If you don't understand what I just said, then you don't need a printer icon on the desktop.

So how do you keep it tidy and icon free? The same principal for housing. As streets gets crowded, you need more space, what do you do? Create another layer or add floors to the buildings. Or with computers, you create folders.
So a busy desktop can be made to look sweet and clean:

Before

After

If it looks weird, that's because my desktop covers 2 monitors. The right one is my main monitor hence why all the icons are on there.
Doesn't it look much neater with all the icons tucked away?
Yeah, the folders are full of icons now but time for another little trick.
Now I am not sure if this will work, but I really hope so so here we go:
If you look in the bottom right corner, next to the system tray, there is a button marked 'desktop'. This is a pop up menu that allows you to manipulate the desktop like you can the folders in the start menu.

If you click on the '>>' part, a pop up menu happens thus:

This then allows you to access all the desktop folders, and the contents inside in a nice, alphabetical manner and keeping your desktop tidy. In fact, once you get the hang of this, you can even turn the desktop icons off altogether, leaving your wallpaper free for you to enjoy.

I keep all my icons in 2 folders. Games and Utilities. Games is for games, naturally. And utilities are for anything that is system bases or productive. The other icons you can see in that list are ones hidden by default, or temporary folders. For example the 'Donna's Backup' is a copy of a laptop hard drive I am fixing for someone. I am just waiting on parts before I copy it back after giving it a fresh windows install. The sharing folder, is a folder I created to pass files onto computers on my network running XP. Again, I am not a qualified expert on computers, I am largely self taught. But I struggled to find a nice way to network Windows 7 and XP together. So for XP to get files from 7, I put the files in that folder. Crude, but it works. The 2 images are ones I have used in this blog, and they will be shifted to archive once I finish writing. I always put Work in Progress on the desktop, then store it when I am finished.

So now I open up to you. If you have any questions or queries you would like to ask me, tweet them to me @theclunk or leave me a message here.
They could be about me, or about my computer, any problems you may have? Ask me for recommendation's, anything really. If I can help, I will.

All the best.

The Problem Is In The Bleedin' Chair!

This is my diagnosis for many computers that come my way.
Most problems I find are caused by 2 things.

• Mechanical failiure
• User error. 

I am yet to come across a computer that has a fault or issue outside of these 2 areas of causes.
When I talk to people about how their computer has gone wrong, and how they could of prevented it I often get 'oh, I never knew that'. When in my eyes the basics should come under 'common sense'. The stuff that people should know when owning a computer. You can't take a driving test in the UK now, without knowing how to put oil in, checking water or filling with fuel. So why aren't people told how to keep a computer running smoothly? People get spam emails telling them that they need a bigger penis, or that there are women in town wanting no strings sex, and that their bank account will be stopped if they don't use this online service for only $99 per month. It is surprising the amount of people that don't realise that these things are spam. And these emails are rife. I have a 14 year old hotmail account which still gets around 1,000 spam emails a week. Yet a simple action once a week will banish these forever.
It isn't just the software maintenance, hardware maintenance is overlooked often as well. I was once asked by a friend to investigate why her 6 year old computer was so slow. When I got there and turned it on, I thought a Hercules aircraft was about to take off from the desk. The fans spun so fast I could not hear the telly. Opened it up and 6 years of dust and shit was nearly solid inside. I have seen people clean LCD monitors with scotchbrite, then wonder why the picture is dull.
And my biggest bug bear, the people that get a new router from their isp, and insist on putting the disc in their computer and installing the half a gig or so of useless crap that they do not need. They just don't realise that all they need to do is connect the lead from the router to the computer. (Or connect the wireless).

So this is a start to what I hope will be a long, helpful, well written and hopefully light hearted and humourous blog.

P.S. I have a bit of a pet hate when it comes to computers made by Dell. This is a personal thing, and is not meant to effect the company or your decision to buy one in any way.

P.P.S. I have just noticed that the spell checker is American. As I can't find the English one, and before your criticise my spelling. Balls to you, my spelling is correct.